Saturday, July 26 - Surgeon Marta are LIVE at the Five Star Bar in Downtown Los Angeles with special guests The Kingdom of Not, Kat & The Canaries, The Fire & The Phoenix and Galvarino!
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Mercury has finally gone direct and yes dear friends so have we... Direct to your inbox. At last the astrological debris have settled and we want to wish you all a Wonderful July 4th!
Also, for those planning to be on the westside of Los Angeles on the evening of the 4th, tilt yer view towards the Hillcrest Country Club where Chane will be helping set off a seriously insane fireworks display.
I know, I know, Irishmen and explosives may seem a little counter intuitive, dangerous even - but this is America dammit and if an independent DIY punk rock musician wants to help us celebrate our independence, I say, “Why the hell not!?!”
Now assuming the westside doesn’t fall off into the ocean, we’re looking forward to see you all again for our upcoming LIVE gig on Sat. July 26th @ The Five Star Bar in Downtown LA.
Hugs & Suds!
Yep the rumors are true, in a classic case of the big guy stomping on the little guy our favorite Los Angeles diner was given a months notice after 44 years of serving up the best breakfast on the Westside. Is there anything to be done?
Well, there’s a town hall meeting with representatives of the new the owners at the Mar Vista Park Rec Center (11430 Woodbine St. LA, 90066) on Tue June 10th @ 7pm. Rumor also has it that Tom Hanks will be attendance... Who says Hollywood doesn't have a conscience?
Time to make some noise people!!
According some transmundanes, Friday the 13th's are considered to be one of the few days ArchDemons are let loose from hell to roam around our dimension seeking out hosts for possession. If a Friday the 13th also happens to fall on a full or close to full moon, then the joy riding demons preferably seek out individuals who suffer from lycanthropy, a.k.a werewolfism.
You can see how this might put a damper on a werewolf's night... All of a sudden instead of worrying about accidentally eating your neighbors dog, you leave your neighbors life-less copse with its limbs ripped off in the ruins of their 3-2 with detached garage, his virginal daughter a little worse for wear and a throbbing headache in the morning that may or may not be your angry condo association members, pounding on your front door, torches ablaze and rifles loaded with silver bullets.
Therefore, even though today's moon phase is only in its First Quarter, we strongly recommend that any werewolf stay indoors tonight. The good news is that unlike last year series of F13's, this year we only have 2. T.G.I.F
When it comes to making music videos Surgeon Marta are guided by the simple “can do” philosophy of the 3B’s: BLOOD, BOOBS & BEDLAM.
Sure we encountered character-building obstacles along the way but we’ve found that the simultaneous ignition of gasoline and lighter fluid can bring joy and delight to pretty much any situation. However it must be said that if the going gets really tough it probably means you’re using a Nikon instead of a Canon.
So without further ado, here's a BIG THANKS to all the lunatics who helped make this happen!
Do You Say Your Prayers At Night?
A BIG Thank You & a Hell Yeah to everybody that came out to celebrate the Night of the Wolf Moon... It was weird, wonderful and a Howling success!
Couldn't have done it without the Swedish metal massage of Magnuson,
the voodoo magic of The Slow Poisoner, the acoustic punk blues of The Bad Bad Things,
the indie-pop groves of The Cocanuts, the untiring support of Santa Monica's
premier live music venue Club TRiP and all of YOU loyal music fanatics!
While the holidays are generally a time of festive merriment, the season can also be a huge source of ulcer inducing stress. The pressure and drama with family and friends, the crush and obligation of last minute spending, angry crowds and for many a LONG journey home can leave you reeling with anxiety and unrest.
That’s why SURGEON MARTA recommends the liberal application of the following Holiday Stress Busting Remedies...
Sit back with a cold one! We initially called this The Black in Black but after Katie Taylor punched her way to Olympic Gold, we renamed it the Black & Blue. What is it you ask? Why, the simplest drink you ever mixed: Take one bottle of Guinness Draught and one bottle of Guinness Black Lager combine in a frosty mug for the steroidal oomph that the Stout World has been waiting for.
(TIP - Great refresher after fisticuffs with annoying sibling)
|2) Holiday Movies
Tired of miracles on whatever fecking street or that damned Charlie kid and his lame tree? Neighbor too Grinch-y to share their Netflix account info? Relax, we have the perfect movie for you and it’s FREE! Álex de la Iglesia’s The Day of the Beast (Spanish: 'El día de la Bestia') is available in its entirety on YouTube and is hands-down THE BEST Christmas move EVER! (TIP – Gained the reputation as a notorious drinking game for every time you hear the word, “FUERTE!")
|3) Blow Shit Up
It’s been statically proven that loud bangs can improve your standing with younger siblings/cousins and nieces/nephews by 200%. Now assuming you have the adult credentials to conduct such an experiment, take one plastic bottle, mix with water and dry ice and stand WAY back for one hell of a, “Where did the bottle go?!?” explosion. (TIP - We in no way endorse the construction of said items and would remind readers that courtesy of the Patriot Act possession of such items will probably land you in the big house as a societal malcontent. Oh and you're gonna shoot your eye out.)
|4) Better Than Coal
Work for a real shit? Then send them a taste of their own medicine! Horse Shit on a Silver Platter delivered to their door anonymously. Click HERE for more details. (TIP – Don’t even think of sending this to us, we have a dry ice maker.)
What better way to unwind and share the Xmas love then to give the gift of great music? Send your family, friends & relatives over to SurgeonMarta.com to sign up for FREE tunes, cool swag and blog advice for all that ails thee. (TIP – Dancing around the house naked covered in red goo absolutely enhances the listening experience... Aaaaoooogh! Rx, SM)
You know, there might be something to all this End-Of-The-World business because, that's right...
Now assuming we all survive the night, let us tell you what we have in store for
Saturday, January 26th, 2013:
It's the first FULL MOON of the new year and as legend has it was dubbed the Wolf Moon by ancient Native American tribes. So no surprises when we picked this day to premiere our werewolf inspired music video -
Do You Say Your Prayers At Night? our first official music video since Send More Cops!
Joining us on this special night is The Slow Poisoner a one-man surrealistic rock and roll band from San Francisco. He's also a spiritual advice columnist at Pork Magazine who's prognostications of the herenow & hereafter - thrill with uncanny accuracy.
But wait - there’s more!
Keeping the party going will be Culver City’s The Bad Bad Things, a drunk rock garage fiesta fronted by powerhouse vocalist Kryss Deetch. Prepare to walk the plank to margaritaville!
Finally, wrapping up the night is Moonshine Earl wanted for crimes against musicality in at least seven states and banned from every live venue within Boston's city limits. This liquored lothario will be making his west coast debut at Trip!
See you there!
like the fabled sirens of old this cat’s got claws!!" - The Lupine News
we're excited to share with you our first new release since Race To The Red!
like the fabled sirens of old this cat’s got claws!!" - The Lupine News
we're excited to share with you our first new release since Race To The Red!
It started off harmless enough, back in March, I stumbled across a silly post about something called a Cherpumple on the website That’s Nerdalicious. That naturally prompted me to forward it to my expert baker friend where we had a hearty laugh over the whole concept. The photo was both entertaining, “Who would even think to make a thing like that?!” and horrifying, “OMG who would even eat a thing like that?!” and after a few quick emails back in forth it was all but forgotten.
Or was it...?
The Cherpumple topic kept creeping up over the comings weeks and months but the conversations started to be more about the “how’s” and less about the “why’s” someone would even to begin to make such a thing. Obviously more research had to be done. Extensive Google-ing brought us to Charles Phoenix’s website which not only had a very entertaining how-to video but a recipe and fan examples!
(Click on images below for larger versions)
|Getting lost in the flour||Carrots, carrots, carrots!||Whirling dervish of frosting||Whipped to perfection!|
Encouraged by what we found we decided to attempt our very own Monster-Pie-Cake assent or plunge (depending on how you want to look at it...) and the serious planning kicked in. Hours were spent testing the pie/cake combinations and their recipes, selecting the best ingredients, gathering the proper equipment, considering the theme plus planning the baking and final assembly.
The plan was solid enough; bake the pies on the first day, then bake the pies in the cakes on the second, cool and decorate. The theme was Fall/Thanksgiving so the pie/cake combos we finally decided upon were:
• Apple Pie in a Spice Cake • Pecan Pie in a Chocolate Cake • Pumpkin Pie in a Carrot Cake
|Pecan Pie||Apple Pie||Pumpkin Pie|
Day one went well enough as the pies came out of the oven looking picture perfect and armed with the knowledge that our added touches of hand toasted pecans and dried fruit soaked in an exotically named rum were only going to add to the flavor spectacle - our spirits were high.
|Is that a pie in your cake?||Pie-cake-y!||hours later...||finally!|
Day two started off with deceptive ease as the apple pie de-tined smoothly in almost eager anticipation of its spice cake batter bath and headed into the oven in record time. Of course that’s when the clouds started to darken overhead. The pie-cake combos took waaaay longer to cook and cool then we had initially calculated and to make matters worse our trustworthy cream cheese frosting was acting up. Very late into the night we decided that decoration would have to wait for the following day.
Held up on the side of our imposing pie-cake precipice, fretting about frosting, powdered sugar supplies running low, we found ourselves wondering if we’d ever reach the end of our pie-cake journey or have to abort the mission and turn back in defeat. And that’s when the secret of the Cherpumple/Pepumple/PieCaken finally revealed itself to us. I could tell you the secret but that would rob you of the thrill and wonderment of the pie-cake nirvana that awaits you in your own attempt(s).
While we have yet to reach the ultimate 3-tiered Shangri-La of the pie-cake world we did make a spectacular 2-tiered PieCaken:
An apple pie in spice cake with a cream cheese & orange liquor crumb coat underneath a pecan pie in chocolate cake covered in chocolate ganache with an outer frosting of whipped cream, the sides sprinkled with edible gold flakes, topped with hand made milk & white chocolates shaped into maple leaves and brushed with edible copper & gold dusts. Our final PieCaken weighed over 20lbs, cut beautifully and was devoured in roughly 10 minutes of being presented.
FYI – We did make that final pumpkin pie in carrot cake combo but we ended up pouring cognac into it over the next 3 days, decorating it with the remaining cream cheese frosting, edible gold flakes, maple leaf chocolates and enjoyed it for desert at Thanksgiving.
A huge thank you to Charles Phoenix and his fellow Cherpumple explorers, your success & disaster stories were a source of endless entertainment & inspiration. Best of luck to all the future monster-pie-cakers out there and remember - Go BIG or Go Home!
Apparently in ancient times thirteen was regarded as a truly auspicious number. It's linked to lunar and goddess worship and represents luckiness, fertility, potency and good fortune. Oddly enough the Moon does have roughly thirteen revolutions around the earth in one year in addition to thirteen annual cycles.
Ultimately, it's just another day but here at SM, Hq we're running studies in Aural Quantum Manifestation. So we suggest turning up the music and rocking out on this planetary spaceship called Earth and remember... T.G.I.F
...than having your name in lights - it's having your ART in lights!
When a "wouldn't it be cool" conversation turns into a 3 x 4 foot neon sign what can you say but, "Hell Yeah!?"
The collaboration between ChaneO' and John, (the owner of TRiP) can be seen every night at 2101 Linclon Blvd. 90405 the coolest live-music venue on the westside.
You probably already know why this years batch of Friday the 13ths is special and have had your anti-superstition itinerary ready to go for weeks. But for those of you lost on both counts don't fear, you can get caught up by checking out our previous post on the subject, 13 Things to Do on Friday the 13th.
Back in January we tried alleviating your superstition-induced fears, but this time we may be adding to them...
Did you know Austrian composer Arnold Schönberg suffered from severe triskaidekaphobia and may have even died from it? It's true! According to The Book of Lists author David Wallechinsky Schönberg suffered from a life-long obsession with the number 13.
Ponder these curious facts - not only was Schönberg born on September 13th, 1874, but he died in his 76th year (7+6=13) on July Friday the 13th, 1951 at precisely 11:47pm - 13 minutes before midnight!
Did you know that this year's batch of Friday the 13th's are rather special? Not only are there 3 Friday the 13ths this year, (today, April 13 & July 13) but they're exactly 13 weeks apart. Last time that happened was back in 1984. University of Delaware math professor, Tom Fernsler, aka Dr. 13 tells us that while 3 friday the 13ths in one year happen every few years this years batch happen to fall during a leap year - something that won't happen again until 2040!
Anyway, whether you suffer from friggatriskaidekaphobia, paraskevidekatriaphobia or simply triskaidekaphobia here are some SM approved suggestions to help you over come your fears and start enjoying your Friday the 13ths...
1) Throw a Party: Celebrating the macabre is not just for goths and Halloween die-hards, a Friday the 13th themed party is a great excuse to leave work early, hang out with friends late and potentially put old superstitions to rest. Encourage guests to bring 13 of something , represent their favorite superstition or just have a Jason Voorhees movie marathon. (Ironically, Jason X is probably our favorite...) Still need inspiration? Check out the cool party Chicago's Anti-Superstition Society threw back in 1940!
2) Get a $13 Tattoo: This probably falls under the category of, "You get what you pay for..." but tattoo shops have been known to run sales on Friday the 13ths so if have you an affinity for the number 13 and cheap ink, head to you're local tat shack & get your haggle on.
3) Visit The Lower Jurassic: The Museum of Jurassic Technology is a beloved spot for us. Descriptions of the MJT will never do it justice as it's impossible to put this place into words and we've been there countless times. (Heck, we've even been privileged enough to get a behind the scenes peek and we're even more inthralled and perplexed then ever!) Needless to say visit, become a member, have some tea and be sure to check out their exhibit on old wives tales entitled, "Tell the Bees..."
4) Cross a Black Cats Path: It's surprising to know that black cats are still the last to get adopted and the first to get putdown at animal shelters. It's ridiculous that silly superstitions are keeping people away from saving these animals! Especially since black cats used to be considered the bringers of good luck to sailors, fishermen's wives and the ancient Egyptians, just to name a few. SM band-cat Waldoze's of Waldoze Coffee fame should be proof enough that a feline noir is a wonderful addition to any home.
5) Spill Some Salt: What's not to love about salt? You can pour it into a bath to relax, use it to sooth a bee sting, gargle with it, fill your shaker with it or just toss some over your shoulder. Whatever you do with it, be sure to let us know if you're cooking salt encrusted fish... we'll bring the amps and margarita mix.
6) Open an Umbrella Indoors: Here at SM Hq we're all about DIY. Particularly if it's in the name of unique costuming! So be brave, pop one open and release your inner bat, jellyfish, octopus, Electric Daisy Carnival attendee, whatever... All's fair in roleplay, cosplay and recycling!
7) Quadruple Your Luck: If having a single rabbit's foot brings good luck then having four must multiply your luckiness, right? Well then why not adopt a rabbit? Rabbit Match is a cool organization that helps find good homes for abandoned bunners. Seriously, what better way to protect yourself from a Friday the 13th and do some good karmic work then by helping out a bunny in need?
8) Break A Mirror: Don't waste a perfectly good broken mirror by throwing it away! Save yourself the 13 years bad luck and money by recycling it into something else... Disco Ball, crazy mosaic art or tricked-out electric guitar - your imagination is the only limit here!
9) Hang with the Dead: Why not spend the day visiting the final resting spots of deceased celebrities? Los Angeles obviously has quite a few dead spots as pointed out by Order of the Good Death's Caitlin Doughty. Really though, no matter where you are in the world, loitering in a cemetery can be fun.
10) Step on a Crack: Throw caution and the safety of your mother's back to the wind and step out in fabulous footwear! (Just be careful to keep your size 5's away from Vivian she has a bad shoe fetish.)
11) Get Your Gnostic On: The best way to deal with Friday the 13ths, let alone any superstition, ancient mythology or conspiracy theory is to do your research. Origins of Friday the 13th, The Secret Sun, and Conspiracy XX are all good starting points. (Just don't blame us if you find yourself covering the walls in tinfoil...)
12) Leave a Penny: or two or three thousand... You can't argue with the cool feeling of knowing that you've done something good. Support your favorite charity, public radio station, independently owned business or (*cough cough*) medical sci-fi indie punk band today! (Check out our Hoka-Hoka page to see some of our favorites.)
13) Have a Happy Friday the 13th: