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pioneertown

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Don’t Stargate Me In

When I look back on 2010 it’s clearly been a year of change for SM. Yes some changes needed to happen and some we never even saw coming.  Is this good news?  You bet!!  Now stand back cuz someone just kicked over the gasoline and things are about to get a little dangerous around here!

However before we all disappear in a great ball of Hellfire I’d like to add my wish list to the Chanta pile and thank all our friends and family for making the year of the Tiger so fur-tastic.

1)  That Claude Bells dinosaurs would come alive, flee their creationist hi-jackers in Cabazon, move to Pioneertown and join in on the western re-enactment mayhem

2)  A SM band vacation to Kona, Hawaii to attend an interactive time travel symposium with our hosts the dolphins.

3)  A worldwide ban on all GMO’s

4)  A celebrity DUI arrest driving under the influence of Waldoze coffee.

5)  Edgar returns to crowkind

6)  Scorpio Music Festival 2

7)  Finally just a thought about humanity's limitless capacity to inflict murder, torment and destruction on our fellow man. Could we dial it down to say hair pulling and name calling for 2011?  Seriously we’re fucking sick of corrupt government and rapist corporations fucking everything up for everybody. - Thank you

Rxo, Dr. Chane

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The Bear Necessities

As a Doctor of Divinity I am called upon regularly to perform weddings, esoteric rituals and the last rites for deceased pets.  2010 has been an unusual year filled with strange requests.  However, the weirdest came from a sheep farmer in Co. West Meath, Ireland.  Needless to say I've taken an oath of secrecy to protect the reputations of both the living and the dead.

The countdown to the new year is indeed a time of joy, compassion and generosity of spirit.  Therefore, I ask all of you to join with me in a prayer from the heart that my meager wish list will be granted by he who cannot be named.

1)  A more realistic Bear suit

2)  Seven Basses, a different one for every day of the week

3)  Melon flavoured Chewing Gum

4)  A time travel machine

5)  An elegant 100 bedroom, 100 bathroom, French Chateau near Big Bear, CA (for all my friends and family to live in, complete with cooks, maids, drivers, nannies etc...)

6)  A Victorian Gothic Church and/or Asylum, with recording studios

7)  Another SURGEON MARTA gig at Pappy & Harriets (or some other wacky/kitschy out of town venue)

8)  A Dream Recorder

Not too much to ask for I don't think!

Rx, Rev Dr. Belvis

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