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Santa Baby


Santa Baby

Surgeon Marta Xmas Nurse

Merry Xmas from Surgeon Marta  

Finally, it's that time of year again where eating chocolate for breakfast seems perfectly normal.  Well at least over here at SM, Hq...

Now we'll be the first to admit, (the 1% aside) that 2011 was a rough year for most of us but courage people - it's almost OVER!

So we'd like to take this opportunity to send a heartfelt, Thank You to everyone who sent some love our way this year. Whether you spun our tunes, shared the stage, or got a wet shirt in the face - Thanks for being there & making it happen!

Many Happy Returns & See you in 2012!

Rx, SM


Now for a little holiday cheer, if only to show our Irish friends
how over the top Americans can get with holiday decorating...   Enjoy! 



Don’t Stargate Me In

When I look back on 2010 it’s clearly been a year of change for SM. Yes some changes needed to happen and some we never even saw coming.  Is this good news?  You bet!!  Now stand back cuz someone just kicked over the gasoline and things are about to get a little dangerous around here!

However before we all disappear in a great ball of Hellfire I’d like to add my wish list to the Chanta pile and thank all our friends and family for making the year of the Tiger so fur-tastic.

1)  That Claude Bells dinosaurs would come alive, flee their creationist hi-jackers in Cabazon, move to Pioneertown and join in on the western re-enactment mayhem

2)  A SM band vacation to Kona, Hawaii to attend an interactive time travel symposium with our hosts the dolphins.

3)  A worldwide ban on all GMO’s

4)  A celebrity DUI arrest driving under the influence of Waldoze coffee.

5)  Edgar returns to crowkind

6)  Scorpio Music Festival 2

7)  Finally just a thought about humanity's limitless capacity to inflict murder, torment and destruction on our fellow man. Could we dial it down to say hair pulling and name calling for 2011?  Seriously we’re fucking sick of corrupt government and rapist corporations fucking everything up for everybody. - Thank you

Rxo, Dr. Chane



Hoist the Jolly Roger

Okay, I’ll admit it when we first moved into an abandoned mental hospital I thought it was the greatest thing ever. But when I have to go searching for my shoes every morning because some poltergeist took them for a joy ride the night before, it does get a little old. In fact over half of my shoes have gone missing!

Now don’t me wrong, being Head Nurse in Surgeon Marta is mostly a riot. However, there are times when a girl needs a little time alone.

What I want is to thank everyone who made 2010 such a wonderful year of music and mayhem!

And what I need is the following:

1) A Pirate Ship Tree House

2) All of Irregular Choice shoes including a Custom Designed “Nurse Vivian” pair

3) Several sets of Customized SM coverall shorts

4) Have SURGEON MARTA tour Japan so I can see crazy toilets like this

5) A Proper Rife’s Beam Ray Machine

6) Rent a Tank with Rocket Launcher, Go Nuts

7) A custom piece by Thomas Kuntz

8)  Customized UE 18 In Ear monitors, in red

and yes, I’ve been pretty good this year…

♥Rx♥, Viv



The Bear Necessities

As a Doctor of Divinity I am called upon regularly to perform weddings, esoteric rituals and the last rites for deceased pets.  2010 has been an unusual year filled with strange requests.  However, the weirdest came from a sheep farmer in Co. West Meath, Ireland.  Needless to say I've taken an oath of secrecy to protect the reputations of both the living and the dead.

The countdown to the new year is indeed a time of joy, compassion and generosity of spirit.  Therefore, I ask all of you to join with me in a prayer from the heart that my meager wish list will be granted by he who cannot be named.

1)  A more realistic Bear suit

2)  Seven Basses, a different one for every day of the week

3)  Melon flavoured Chewing Gum

4)  A time travel machine

5)  An elegant 100 bedroom, 100 bathroom, French Chateau near Big Bear, CA (for all my friends and family to live in, complete with cooks, maids, drivers, nannies etc...)

6)  A Victorian Gothic Church and/or Asylum, with recording studios

7)  Another SURGEON MARTA gig at Pappy & Harriets (or some other wacky/kitschy out of town venue)

8)  A Dream Recorder

Not too much to ask for I don't think!

Rx, Rev Dr. Belvis



Off to Wonder Wonderland

Some may say that I have a problem with the color pink but just like Gene Kelly in 'What A Way To Go', I say  you gotta own what you love!   And I LOVE singing into my microphone, Miss Pinky! This time of year is always special for me as it's a time for friends, family, loved ones and a wish list for the year to come...

Bye, bye 2010 and Hello Chişineu-Criş!

1)  A Pink Custom Carry Case for Miss Pinky

2)  A Hot Pink Nurse Dress with NURSE WONDERLAND Stitched in Black on the Front

3)  Miss Pinky to go Wireless
(although I do like to spin her around)

4)  Custom SURGEON MARTA Luggage Set in Black Leather
with the SM logo on the Front in Pink and White

5)  To Tour Eastern Europe, Spain, Italy and Greece with SURGEON MARTA and Miss Pinky!

6)  A HUGE Tour Bus with 7 Queen Sized Beds, a Full Kitchen, a Huge Living Room
and a least 4 Blinged-Out Bathrooms.  It's possible ;-)

7)  Surgeon Marta's Likenesses to be made into Wax Figures at the Wax Museum

8)  All of the Band Animals, (TB, Nenu, Waldoz, Edgar, etc...) to have their own SM Outfits
and be our back-up singers while on tour with us

Hee Hee!

Rxoxo, Aly



From a Galaxy not so far, far away…

If wishes were dishes I’d be stranded in a 400 foot trench filled with broken crockery.  However this year I’ve ditched the Chinese made steel toes for a pair of Red Wings so hold on Santa I’m coming...
(with my list!)

1)  Bionic Limbs and Appendages

2)  A 2 Headed Puppy

3)  A Cloning Machine

4)  A Time Travel Portal

5) A Flame Throwing Drum Kit




On The Fidel Day of X-Mas…

Maybe it's prenatal indoctrination, (as I was only 2 when we fled Cuba on an tractor inner tube) but there's something about a man with distinctive facial hair, a strict grooming regime and a sharp uniform that leaves me a little weak at the knees.   Unfortunately, I find that most guys are quick to grow sideburns while ignoring the most charismatic statement a man can make... The Mustache.

Therefore, I feel the time has come to make the inexplicable a moment to share and celebrate!  If you're too shy to grow your own, then here's some gift ideas to inspire and encourage everyone to find their inner authoritarian, or at least keep something warm...

1)   Mustache Mugs! To keep my coffee warm and so I don't have to pour it into my hands! Collect all 3!

2)   Car 'Stache! To keep my bumper warm!

3)   Mustache Wallet! Keeps my money warm!

4)  Mustache Ring! To keep my finger warm!

5)  Magnetic Mustache! To keep my fridge warm!

6)  World of Mustaches Sweatshirt! To keep ME warm!

7)  Mustache Broach! To keep my corporate casual blouse warm!

8)  A MUSTACHE! To keep the area between my nose and my lips warm!

Rx, Christine


1 Comment

Dear Chanta…

Ahh The Holidays. A time to reflect on all things good and wholesome.  You've put in a good years work, now it's time to really cozy up and enjoy some quality time with family and friends and enjoy the last days of the year recapping the good times and going over the fun and fab events which made this a great year for Surgeon Marta.  I am truly grateful for the chance to bring some of my scientifically dictated riffs to the bands repertoire and really enjoyed playing on the Queen Mary and at EastWest Studios to name but two of the myriad of  shows this year.  Many thanks to the Asian Valet at the art show in downtown who made parking and setting up so much more easy than it normally is....

Well I'm super excited to take a break from all the musings around science and genetics and the future of the planet to let you all know whats on Dr Cist's Chanu-Xmas list this year...

1.  A Back Scatter X-Ray Machine. Yes I know it maybe a little pricey, (between $100 and $200 thousand) but come on folks its' well worth it.  I'd really like one of these installed at the entrance to Cist Lair to make sure that no spooky men in caves or Al CIADA can engineer some sort of terrorist attack and then blame it on the Neighbors.  I happen to like my neighbors.  Also, think of all the fun Mrs. Cist will have as she subjects our guests to an  enhanced pat down if they decide to OPT OUT.  And don't worry unlike the TSA we promise not to store any of the images.... instead we'll take them to our local CVS and have them printed on mugs and coasters to give out as next years xmas pressies. See it's all about sharing the love!!!!

2.  Mulitiple lap dances from a minnimum wage TSA worker. Well folks at $7 per hour imagine all  the hijinks during "Stairway to Heaven" or "In la gadda la vidda" and these guys have the moves that even your hottest stripper at Crazy Girls can't get away with - AND It's  even, according to the Government, completely legal and doesn't infringe whatsoever on your constitutional rights!!!!!!

Ohhhhhh this really batters my sausage...

And if someone could find me the guy mentioned in the video below - well that would make my Christmas...

Check this winner out!!!!!!!!!

3.  Michio Kaku. Ever find yourself in a bit of a pickle?  Ever need to invent a huge lie to get yourself out of an embarrassing situation?  Come on we've all been a little red faced now and again... Well I give you Michio Kaku... Michio who? This guy has served up more bull than all the billions served at Mc Donalds and does it with such convoluted confusion even he has trouble sometimes with his delivery.  As part of my wish list I need this guy's digits...

Here's a sample of his fine work... - Confucius say "I'm Confused"

4.  Home  cryogenics lab with dna splicing technology to make spider goats and Frankin Salmon. What Cist Holiday feast would be complete without some smoked frankensalmon and for my dear Grandma Cist a scarf made from a genetically modified spider silk...

5.  Lastly I have always wanted a replica not of the Empire State building or the stupid Eiffel Tower no I need something more sinister... So this year I'm asking for a replica of the Georgia Stones. You can find out more about their amazing message HERE

Wow that isn't creepy now is it?

Now I know that some of these items are in the "Hard-to-Find" section but these are the things that are on my list and I hope that you'll all find it in your heart to get at least one of these items.

Thanks again and God Bless us one world government and all!!!!!!!

Rx, Dr Cist

1 Comment



Hey Folks,

It's that time of year again when the Pagan, Jewish and lapsed Catholic members of Surgeon Marta get together to give thanks, praise and reflection on the crazed adventure that was 2010...  and of course, submit their list of demands to The Great Inquisitor in the sky.

First up is our international man of mystery and intrigue Dr. Eugene Cist.

Stay tuned as we keep the flames of expectations burning - at least for the next 8 days...

Rx, SM


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