According some transmundanes, Friday the 13th's are considered to be one of the few days ArchDemons are let loose from hell to roam around our dimension seeking out hosts for possession. If a Friday the 13th also happens to fall on a full or close to full moon, then the joy riding demons preferably seek out individuals who suffer from lycanthropy, a.k.a werewolfism.
You can see how this might put a damper on a werewolf's night... All of a sudden instead of worrying about accidentally eating your neighbors dog, you leave your neighbors life-less copse with its limbs ripped off in the ruins of their 3-2 with detached garage, his virginal daughter a little worse for wear and a throbbing headache in the morning that may or may not be your angry condo association members, pounding on your front door, torches ablaze and rifles loaded with silver bullets.
Therefore, even though today's moon phase is only in its First Quarter, we strongly recommend that any werewolf stay indoors tonight. The good news is that unlike last year series of F13's, this year we only have 2. T.G.I.F
While the holidays are generally a time of festive merriment, the season can also be a huge source of ulcer inducing stress. The pressure and drama with family and friends, the crush and obligation of last minute spending, angry crowds and for many a LONG journey home can leave you reeling with anxiety and unrest.
That’s why SURGEON MARTA recommends the liberal application of the following Holiday Stress Busting Remedies...
Sit back with a cold one! We initially called this The Black in Black but after Katie Taylor punched her way to Olympic Gold, we renamed it the Black & Blue. What is it you ask? Why, the simplest drink you ever mixed: Take one bottle of Guinness Draught and one bottle of Guinness Black Lager combine in a frosty mug for the steroidal oomph that the Stout World has been waiting for. (TIP - Great refresher after fisticuffs with annoying sibling)
2) Holiday Movies
Tired of miracles on whatever fecking street or that damned Charlie kid and his lame tree? Neighbor too Grinch-y to share their Netflix account info? Relax, we have the perfect movie for you and it’s FREE! Álex de la Iglesia’s The Day of the Beast (Spanish: 'El día de la Bestia') is available in its entirety on YouTube and is hands-down THE BEST Christmas move EVER! (TIP – Gained the reputation as a notorious drinking game for every time you hear the word, “FUERTE!")
3) Blow Shit Up
It’s been statically proven that loud bangs can improve your standing with younger siblings/cousins and nieces/nephews by 200%. Now assuming you have the adult credentials to conduct such an experiment, take one plastic bottle, mix with water and dry ice and stand WAY back for one hell of a, “Where did the bottle go?!?” explosion. (TIP - We in no way endorse the construction of said items and would remind readers that courtesy of the Patriot Act possession of such items will probably land you in the big house as a societal malcontent. Oh and you're gonna shoot your eye out.)
4) Better Than Coal
Work for a real shit? Then send them a taste of their own medicine! Horse Shit on a Silver Platter delivered to their door anonymously. Click HERE for more details. (TIP – Don’t even think of sending this to us, we have a dry ice maker.)
What better way to unwind and share the Xmas love then to give the gift of great music? Send your family, friends & relatives over to SurgeonMarta.com to sign up for FREE tunes, cool swag and blog advice for all that ails thee. (TIP – Dancing around the house naked covered in red goo absolutely enhances the listening experience... Aaaaoooogh! Rx, SM)
You know, there might be something to all this End-Of-The-World business because, that's right...
Now assuming we all survive the night, let us tell you what we have in store for
Saturday, January 26th, 2013:
It's the first FULL MOON of the new year and as legend has it was dubbed the Wolf Moon by ancient Native American tribes. So no surprises when we picked this day to premiere our werewolf inspired music video - Do You Say Your Prayers At Night? our first official music video sinceSend More Cops!
Joining us on this special night is The Slow Poisoner a one-man surrealistic rock and roll band from San Francisco. He's also a spiritual advice columnist at Pork Magazine who's prognostications of the herenow & hereafter - thrill with uncanny accuracy.
But wait - there’s more!
Keeping the party going will be Culver City’s The Bad Bad Things, a drunk rock garage fiesta fronted by powerhouse vocalist Kryss Deetch. Prepare to walk the plank to margaritaville!
Finally, wrapping up the night is Moonshine Earl wanted for crimes against musicality in at least seven states and banned from every live venue within Boston's city limits. This liquored lothario will be making his west coast debut at Trip!
It started off harmless enough, back in March, I stumbled across a silly post about something called a Cherpumple on the website That’s Nerdalicious. That naturally prompted me to forward it to my expert baker friend where we had a hearty laugh over the whole concept. The photo was both entertaining, “Who would even think to make a thing like that?!” and horrifying, “OMG who would even eat a thing like that?!” and after a few quick emails back in forth it was all but forgotten.
Or was it...?
The Cherpumple topic kept creeping up over the comings weeks and months but the conversations started to be more about the “how’s” and less about the “why’s” someone would even to begin to make such a thing. Obviously more research had to be done. Extensive Google-ing brought us to Charles Phoenix’s website which not only had a very entertaining how-to video but a recipe and fan examples!
(Click on images below for larger versions)
Getting lost in the flour
Carrots, carrots, carrots!
Whirling dervish of frosting
Whipped to perfection!
Encouraged by what we found we decided to attempt our very own Monster-Pie-Cake assent or plunge (depending on how you want to look at it...) and the serious planning kicked in. Hours were spent testing the pie/cake combinations and their recipes, selecting the best ingredients, gathering the proper equipment, considering the theme plus planning the baking and final assembly.
The plan was solid enough; bake the pies on the first day, then bake the pies in the cakes on the second, cool and decorate. The theme was Fall/Thanksgiving so the pie/cake combos we finally decided upon were:
• Apple Pie in a Spice Cake
• Pecan Pie in a Chocolate Cake
• Pumpkin Pie in a Carrot Cake
Day one went well enough as the pies came out of the oven looking picture perfect and armed with the knowledge that our added touches of hand toasted pecans and dried fruit soaked in an exotically named rum were only going to add to the flavor spectacle - our spirits were high.
Is that a pie in your cake?
Day two started off with deceptive ease as the apple pie de-tined smoothly in almost eager anticipation of its spice cake batter bath and headed into the oven in record time. Of course that’s when the clouds started to darken overhead. The pie-cake combos took waaaay longer to cook and cool then we had initially calculated and to make matters worse our trustworthy cream cheese frosting was acting up. Very late into the night we decided that decoration would have to wait for the following day.
Held up on the side of our imposing pie-cake precipice, fretting about frosting, powdered sugar supplies running low, we found ourselves wondering if we’d ever reach the end of our pie-cake journey or have to abort the mission and turn back in defeat. And that’s when the secret of the Cherpumple/Pepumple/PieCaken finally revealed itself to us. I could tell you the secret but that would rob you of the thrill and wonderment of the pie-cake nirvana that awaits you in your own attempt(s).
While we have yet to reach the ultimate 3-tiered Shangri-La of the pie-cake world we did make a spectacular 2-tiered PieCaken:
An apple pie in spice cake with a cream cheese & orange liquor crumb coat underneath a pecan pie in chocolate cake covered in chocolate ganache with an outer frosting of whipped cream, the sides sprinkled with edible gold flakes, topped with hand made milk & white chocolates shaped into maple leaves and brushed with edible copper & gold dusts. Our final PieCaken weighed over 20lbs, cut beautifully and was devoured in roughly 10 minutes of being presented.
FYI – We did make that final pumpkin pie in carrot cake combo but we ended up pouring cognac into it over the next 3 days, decorating it with the remaining cream cheese frosting, edible gold flakes, maple leaf chocolates and enjoyed it for desert at Thanksgiving.
A huge thank you to Charles Phoenix and his fellow Cherpumple explorers, your success & disaster stories were a source of endless entertainment & inspiration. Best of luck to all the future monster-pie-cakers out there and remember - Go BIG or Go Home!
In a world filled with cynicism, violence and the choking grasp of austerity it's easy to forget that the most important thing in life is LOVE.Although, chilled chocolate dipped strawberries come in a close second...
So wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day all year long!
Finally, it's that time of year again where eating chocolate for breakfast seems perfectly normal. Well at least over here at SM, Hq...
Now we'll be the first to admit, (the 1% aside) that 2011 was a rough year for most of us but courage people - it's almost OVER!
So we'd like to take this opportunity to send a heartfelt, Thank You to everyone who sent some love our way this year. Whether you spun our tunes, shared the stage, or got a wet shirt in the face - Thanks for being there & making it happen!
With the current plight and resilience of The Occupy Movement stirring hope and imaginations across the land, Surgeon Marta has decided to stage a little occupation of their own. Next Wednesday, November 24th at midnight Surgeon Marta will take over the airwaves at KXLU, 88.9FM with a special 2-hour DJ set!
From uprising to decriminalizing we'll spin the sounds of rebellion until the needle wears out.
Set your dial to 88.9FM in Los Angeles at 11:59PM Wed. 11/24 on the award winning Livation Show or stream it live on www.KXLU.com at 8am for our Irish listeners
We'll be the first to admit that living in an abandoned mental hospital isn't for everybody but it's been a dream come true for us and surprisingly we even found some roommates! Although we've been busy with renovations, playing shows and working on new SM material we finally had a free moment to sit down and chat with our new roomies, a power-duo called Magnuson. So, here's the low-down and be sure to check these guys out! Rx, SM
The Magnuson Interview
Surgeon Marta: So of course the first question will always be.... Where and how did you guys meet? In Magnuson's case was music already a part of your individual lives, bands, open mics, etc…?
Greg Magnuson: We were both playing music separately and had grown up playing music. We met while playing on worship team in San Diego. I always wanted to talk to her but couldn't come up with anything to say but we ended up sharing a microphone one day. After that, she realized she was friends with my drummer and that gave us that common element to start up a conversation. We gradually got closer as she gave me a critical review of the "Last Days" album I was finishing at the time. Then she sang with us at the San Diego Fair. Then, our drummer quit and I had to move to drums so, she joined the band as rhythm guitarist and vocalist.
SM: Magnuson wasn't always a dynamic duo. a) - What led to this direction? b) - How difficult was it to make the change? c) - And in particular create the sound/s you wanted to make????
GM: Magnuson has been a "project" since 2003 and the whole time it has been challenging to keep a group of people together that had the same goals and ambition. It went from a solo acoustic act, to a duo, to 4 piece, then 5 piece, then 3 piece. There were occasionally shows where the drummer couldn't play and Kyrsten and I would just play as a 2 piece and we were surprised by the response we got. We started to make some serious progress when we released our EP "The Struggle Within" but right at the point we decided to start touring, we realized we didn't have the same vision as our drummer. So, one month before our tour started, we reworked our entire set into our official duo line up. It was challenging because we had to really step up our game and take it more seriously. We also had to revamp our guitar sound to give it more beef. Aside from that though, it was really easy. Now we can do what we want because we are on the same page.
SM: Musical influences!!! From Morrissey to Metallica to psychedelic folk it seems like you guys do it all! Was there, a) – A conscious decision to explore such a broad palette within the framework of the band or b) - simply, "Whatever we write.... It's a Magnuson song! "
GM: Well, I've always liked the vocals of Morrissey, his phrasing and lyrical content really helped me through a lot of my growing up. But I really learned to play guitar doing Metallica and Sex Pistols covers. Same with when I learned bass, Primus was my go to. As a result, I've always straddled different genres when writing songs. We like to sing as well so that sets us apart from a lot of the heavier bands we are influenced by. We're not death metal. So, our goal has always been to try to write songs that are musically interesting but have singable vocals. Wherever that leads us, we follow and then promptly label it "Magnuson".
SM: Greg you recorded/produced the new Magnuson LP "Crash of Cassini" a) - How difficult was the process + what set up did you use ? b) - Was this a budgetary or creative control issue? c) - Any advise to other bands thinking of going the DIY route?
GM: Ahh, recording. Well, I have always had ideas of what I wanted to hear in recordings. When we write songs, we both hear fairly well formed ideas. So we know what we want and sometimes, if it differs from what someone else wants, it can be difficult. In this case, we were still kind of solidifying our 2 piece sound so we thought it would be good to go at our own pace and have the ability to produce what we wanted. We ran the numbers and a Pro Tools LE rig along with a Mac Book Pro was about the same price as what we had spent recording our 4 song EP. So, we decided to make the investment in our own studio. We did all the tracking in our second bedroom and it was actually kind of challenging. When you can redo any part you want any time, it kind of consumes your life. But, we worked hard most of 2010 to get everything tracked. After I spent about 3 months mixing, I decided to have a friend to the final mix and master. But, we saved money in the long run and are very pleased with our cost vs. quality ratio.
SM: Magnuson are known for multiple mid set instrument swaps and hi-decibel mayhem. How would you describe your live show to audiences that have never seen you before?
GM: I would describe our show as 5 for the price of 2. We both sing pretty much the whole time in addition to playing guitar and drums so we sound like a full band. We had so many people on tour say after the shows, "We heard you outside and it sounded like a full band!" That's a good feeling. But straight to the point, it's a rock show that proves not all prog bands are boring. You can sing along to a song and connect with it as a listener and you can also experience some powerful prog rock… or metal as some have said. Maybe you could say we're an indie band on steroids? Just come check out a show and see what you think!
SM: Magnuson just finished a tour of the Western United States and the first thing we all need to know, did you play naked in Salt Lake City? OK only half kidding but seriously what was audience reaction to your live shows? Any favorite venues or towns? Best Show of the tour? Craziest/strangest tour moment? And what's up with the crab photos / explain crabbing?
GM: Okay, we did not play naked in SLC. Actually, we almost didn't play at all! When I contacted the venue about our load in time, they said, "Oh sorry, we over booked the night... Sorry." So, I got on the phone and booked us at The Dawg Pound and we had a freaking blast! Seriously, those guys know how to party. That was one of our best shows. My favorite city was Portland. So many great people there and the food and scenery are amazing. All the audiences seemed to have a blast as did we. We can't wait to go back. As far as strange moments, we had quite a few! The after party in Seattle, watching the Dutch band Death Letters we were touring with drink Four Loko was hilarious! Crabbing came about because our first band to band bonding moment on tour was talking about the hilarity of the "crab core"genre. So we just started taking pictures of us "crabbing" on everything! When the bands parted ways in Idaho, we got the idea to challenge each other. The van crabbing pic was pretty much the highlight, but we have some Vegas shots yet to unleash. When the tour was over we found out there's a Facebook group of people that "crab" - its like, a thing! And they made us their main photo! WINNING!!!!!
SM: Finally Surgeon Marta would like to thank Greg and Kyrsten for taking us up on the offer to move into our hospital HQ. Clearly the building is haunted seven ways to Sunday and we have to ask have either of you experienced any supernatural influences creeping into your creative work since the move?
Interview Note: After we asked this question the color left Greg's face, he shuffled nervously and handed us this battered videotape which contained the following footage. The strangest thing is, almost exactly as we were done watching it, the phone rang and we heard a child's voice say "seven days..." Weird right?
Earlier this year Greg was on a Swedish reality TV show called, Allt för Sverige where Americans of Swedish descent competed with each other for a chance to meet living relatives. Below are the episodes that have already aired - stay tuned for more! Rx, SM
In general it's fairly safe to say that Surgeon Marta has a couple of usual predilections but our favorites always seem to lie in the foggy crossroads of scientific study and the esoteric unknown. That's why Day of the Dead is just our kind of holiday! Seriously, what other holiday let's you decorate with skulls and skeletons, feast with your dearly departed and falls on the day after Halloween? (WINNING!)
Anyway, this year Christine's Día de Muertos make-up was featured on the Skull-a-Day blog!
Skull-a-Day is a super cool site which is in it's 5th year of featuring some kind of skull everyday.
Don't want to spend endless hours waiting in line during Halloween weekend but still want the full-immersion experience of California's number one haunt... (that's actually haunted?!!) Then join Surgeon Marta at The Dark Harboron Thursday, October 27th at 7PM sharp! Bring your best charms, spells and incantations for a righteous rip-tide of full-costumed Rock n' Roll! And remember, as we like to say this time of year, "No blood? No good!"
See you there! Rx, SM
Don't forget it's half-priced admission before 8PM if you get your tickets online!
Get Your Tickets:
• Online at Dark Harbor Tickets
• Over the phone, call (562) 435-3511 (from 9:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m daily)
• In person at the event box office starting at 5:30 p.m.
Hidden on a non-descript length of Temple St., tucked behind a little white fence and under an equally plain sign reading only, ‘M’ (in English) are the two faded mint green doors of Dinner House M
Alas, it’s seems the rumors are finally true, the legendary night spot will be closing it’s doors officially after 24 years of keeping them open well past 2AM.
You can read the Los Angeles Times article which does a fairly good job of remaining neutral and providing a bit of history on the place. However, for anyone who’s ever frequented The M (from foreplay to gunplay) they all have a cherished story to tell. (Check out Yelp for further details…)
Our first encounter with the place was for a friends James Bond-themed birthday party. The venue could not have been more perfect, complete with classy drinks, gorgeous ladies singing various Bond theme songs and several guys arriving in full scuba gear only to strip down into surprisingly unwrinkled tuxedos! All of this with the Japanese fusion Jazz Bar as backdrop.
So, it was a no brainer that when Nurse Kitty Murphy was assigned to Operation Kitty Kitty Bang Bang that Dinner House M would be the spot to hold her going away party and also mark her final performance with Surgeon Marta to date. Like the Bond party before it, the evening was a memorable success.
We’ll always love Dinner House M for providing us with a relaxed vibe and intimate surroundings, an incredibly stocked sunken bar, good food and most nights a cool jazz combo playing in the corner where if you were lucky owner Miki would occasionally sing a number or two. We’ll love it for being just off the beaten path, a modern day speak easy where absolutely no questions were asked, especially not about one’s ID. We’ll love it for all the late night thrills and early morning raids by the LAPD Vice Squad. We’ll love it for it’s brazen views on liquor licenses, smoking codes and most especially kougouheikaMiki Saito. Be sure to say your good-byes on or before Wednesday June 8th.
After spending the last couple of years shouting & singing about parades Surgeon Marta has finally decided to be in one themselves. Mind you, not just any ol' parade but the world famous “Doo Dah” Parade in Pasadena!
What’s that you say? You’ve heard of the “Rose Parade” but not the Doo Dah Parade? Well, never mind those corporate show-offs cuz next Sat. we’re gonna fix this crucial gap in your education.
Now in it’s 34th year the Doo Dah Parade is a fun for all celebration of carnival mayhem and DIY absurdity. In other words you’ll love it!!!
What are the details? Simple really. The parade kicks off at 11AM and admission is FREE.(Ample free street parking included...) So bring your folding chairs, your cameras and your biggest shout outs.
Ask anyone who’s just turned 21 if they feel or think any differently since the day they turned 18 and chances are good that not much has changed. The legal ramifications of 18 are already enough of a burden without telling someone they can’t have a beer for another 3 years let alone see their favorite band in a bar? It’s not just wrong, it’s cruel and unusual punishment, not to mention the real gateway to alternative substance acquirement!
So you can imagine our delight when Surgeon Marta was approached to play an all ages venue in Mar Vista this Saturday “Hells Yeahs” followed by “Shit there won’t be any booze?” (Only kidding!!!)
Doors open @ 8 pm with Franchot Tone(backed up by members of Jack Johnson, the Beastie Boys and the Culver City Dub Collective) putting the pedal to the floor at 9 pm, Surgeon Marta @ 10pm and roots n' punk sensations The Bad Bad Things @11pm
How do you avoid a St. Paddy's Day D.U.I? That's easy - Don't go out on St. Paddy's night!
As most of you know L.A.'s St. Patrick's Day Parade was canceled last year and labeled an "unseemly" expenditure. Funny thing is the city had no problem spending loads of cash on roadblocks, booze sniffing dogs and LOTS of L.A.P.D. overtime to ensure the streets of Hollywood were protected from over enthusiastic revelers.
Now it's a year later, the city is still broke, the parade is still canceled and if our recent $200 jaywalking tickets (even though the light was green) are any indicator expect even more police-state chicanery on the 17th.
As anyone who's been to the strip can testify, the Key Club is the best of the bunch. With great sound, low-key security and multiple levels to view the show from the venue is also offering a special Buy 3 Get 1 FREE ticket deal. Plus, it's an 18 & over night so don't be a green meanie, bring your underage designated driver with you!
See you there!
9039 West Sunset Boulevard
West Hollywood, 90069-1828
(310) 274-5800 DIRECTIONS
Friday, March 18th Doors open @ 7:30pm / show starts @ 8:00pm - 18 & Over