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Eugene Cist


Baby, it's Crazy Cold Outside!

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Merry X-Mas from Surgeon Marta

Greetings and Salutations! It maybe safe to say more things have changed in the last 10 years than the previous 50! How would you even begin to describe the rise & fall of MySpace, 9-11, Skype, The New World Order, Tweets, Facebook, Obama, U.F.C and Two Girls & a Cup to someone who just came out of a coma?


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Dear Chanta…

Ahh The Holidays. A time to reflect on all things good and wholesome.  You've put in a good years work, now it's time to really cozy up and enjoy some quality time with family and friends and enjoy the last days of the year recapping the good times and going over the fun and fab events which made this a great year for Surgeon Marta.  I am truly grateful for the chance to bring some of my scientifically dictated riffs to the bands repertoire and really enjoyed playing on the Queen Mary and at EastWest Studios to name but two of the myriad of  shows this year.  Many thanks to the Asian Valet at the art show in downtown who made parking and setting up so much more easy than it normally is....

Well I'm super excited to take a break from all the musings around science and genetics and the future of the planet to let you all know whats on Dr Cist's Chanu-Xmas list this year...

1.  A Back Scatter X-Ray Machine. Yes I know it maybe a little pricey, (between $100 and $200 thousand) but come on folks its' well worth it.  I'd really like one of these installed at the entrance to Cist Lair to make sure that no spooky men in caves or Al CIADA can engineer some sort of terrorist attack and then blame it on the Neighbors.  I happen to like my neighbors.  Also, think of all the fun Mrs. Cist will have as she subjects our guests to an  enhanced pat down if they decide to OPT OUT.  And don't worry unlike the TSA we promise not to store any of the images.... instead we'll take them to our local CVS and have them printed on mugs and coasters to give out as next years xmas pressies. See it's all about sharing the love!!!!

2.  Mulitiple lap dances from a minnimum wage TSA worker. Well folks at $7 per hour imagine all  the hijinks during "Stairway to Heaven" or "In la gadda la vidda" and these guys have the moves that even your hottest stripper at Crazy Girls can't get away with - AND It's  even, according to the Government, completely legal and doesn't infringe whatsoever on your constitutional rights!!!!!!

Ohhhhhh this really batters my sausage...

And if someone could find me the guy mentioned in the video below - well that would make my Christmas...

Check this winner out!!!!!!!!!

3.  Michio Kaku. Ever find yourself in a bit of a pickle?  Ever need to invent a huge lie to get yourself out of an embarrassing situation?  Come on we've all been a little red faced now and again... Well I give you Michio Kaku... Michio who? This guy has served up more bull than all the billions served at Mc Donalds and does it with such convoluted confusion even he has trouble sometimes with his delivery.  As part of my wish list I need this guy's digits...

Here's a sample of his fine work... - Confucius say "I'm Confused"

4.  Home  cryogenics lab with dna splicing technology to make spider goats and Frankin Salmon. What Cist Holiday feast would be complete without some smoked frankensalmon and for my dear Grandma Cist a scarf made from a genetically modified spider silk...

5.  Lastly I have always wanted a replica not of the Empire State building or the stupid Eiffel Tower no I need something more sinister... So this year I'm asking for a replica of the Georgia Stones. You can find out more about their amazing message HERE

Wow that isn't creepy now is it?

Now I know that some of these items are in the "Hard-to-Find" section but these are the things that are on my list and I hope that you'll all find it in your heart to get at least one of these items.

Thanks again and God Bless us one world government and all!!!!!!!

Rx, Dr Cist

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Hey Folks,

It's that time of year again when the Pagan, Jewish and lapsed Catholic members of Surgeon Marta get together to give thanks, praise and reflection on the crazed adventure that was 2010...  and of course, submit their list of demands to The Great Inquisitor in the sky.

First up is our international man of mystery and intrigue Dr. Eugene Cist.

Stay tuned as we keep the flames of expectations burning - at least for the next 8 days...

Rx, SM


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